America woke up on July 21 to find that a massacre had occurred rivaling nothing we had ever seen before. Twelve dead, dozens more wounded.
The source of this carnage?
A super-genius neuroscience graduate student by the name of James Eagan Holmes.
His college ID photo was splashed across the airwaves, and America began spewing a unified hatred for this madman. It seemed like a replay of the film 1984’s Two-Minutes Hate, in which the superstate Oceania were as one in a frenzied hatred of the arch-fiend, Emmanuel Goldstein.
BIG BROTHER ISN’T WATCHING YOU; HE’S SPINNING THE TRUTH.
Except there were rumblings from the proles watching the media spin the carnage like a spinoff to The Dark Knight Rises.
Right on cue before the bodies were even cold, Obama and his surrogates in the media were calling for gun control.
Right on cue, the UN was voting on the Small Arms Treaty that would eventually nullify the Second Amendment.
We were told that James Holmes was a lone wolf, despite the police dispatch and witnesses stating the contrary.
We were told that James Holmes’ college ID photo did not match the “Joker” James Holmes because faces changed over time.
Maybe Holmes had a nose job on his way to the jail.
The man who was presented to us during the preliminary hearing, who looked more like someone who had a lobotomy than someone who methodically and precisely planned the massacre for months, was the genius mass murderer?
The James Holmes we saw in court didn’t look like he could tie his own shoes, let alone set up a booby trap in his apartment that took the local police and FBI two days to disarm.
MESSAGE FROM BIG BROTHER:
Be good sheep, and repeat the following:
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
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