Self-defense advocates aren’t surprised by these statistics from the FBI’S 2011 Crime In The United States report.
Attacks with hammers outnumber those committed by rifles, of which the famed “assault” variety is a talisman of the Left.
Inspired by shrill liberals, like concealed-carry permittee US Senator Dianne Feinstein, I hereby call for a federal ban on these weapons of masked (deceptive) destructive!
Given their availability and easy weaponization, we can either impose draconian licensing requirements to insure the smallest possible civilian possession or ban confiscate outright.
I know our liberal sisters and brothers will join this noble cause, hereafter called the “Hit The Nail On The Head” federal assault (meaning every) Hammer Ban.
Remember, unlike “assault” rifles, hammers have no magazine capacity, jamming, or overheating to limit their lethal potential.
A hammer can be used infinitely… or at lest until the assailant becomes too tired to continue attacking.
Friends, Americans, countrymen: lend me your ears. Better yet, lend me your hammers so that we are totally helpless, thanks to hysterical busybodies once and for all.
If you haven’t realized it, this satire is aimed at those who’d disarm law-abiding Americans to grant criminals perverse affirmative action programs where they become the only ones armed during an offense.
Hit the nail on the head, and ban liberal politicians trying to make average Americans helpless while hypocritically protected by armed police and service members.
Cap Black The Hood Conservative
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Photo credit: Velo Steve (Creative Commons)