Homeless Pastor Story A Fake


I still want it to be true that Mr. Rogers was a Special Forces sniper in Viet Nam who only wore sweaters to hide his military tattoos.  But when it comes to “the internet hoax,” my naiveté borders on oafish gullibility.


On the other end of the spectrum is Pastor Jeremiah Steepak who “allegedly” dressed as a homeless man only to be revealed to his new congregation of 10,000 and point out their snobbish indifference.

The story, which has circulated since July of this year, has Pastor Jeremiah dressing and acting as a homeless man in a mega-church that he has been called to lead.  He is mistreated and ignored until the “elders,” who were in on the social experiment, invite the new pastor up to take the helm.  The rejected and dejected homeless dude walks to the pulpit, relates what happened to him, reads some verses about discipleship and then, as all 10,000 bow their heads in shame, dismisses the assembly with a challenge to live more like Christ.

This story is a hoax and yet I see it posted as real over and over. Is it because so many care about the homeless or because so many hate the church and are eager to point out her alleged deficiencies?  The truth is that this story is very appealing to the flesh.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen others say how “meaningful” this story was to them and how it made them rethink their own ways.  Really?

The world loves this “story” because it is further confirmation of their overblown presupposition that the church is full of sneering, greedy hypocrites.  What’s truly shocking, however, is not the mocking contempt of the cynic but the gleeful reception of professing Christians.  A complex which can only be explained by the shallow, superficial mindset of modern Churchianity – the attitude that displaces humility for self-loathing and substance for symbolism.

Anyone who needs a story like this to take stock of their own heart is drawing blanks about the purpose of the church, the duty of a pastor, the atmosphere of the mega-church and the nature of the homeless.  As a matter of fact, I’m willing to wager that they’ve spent absolutely no time with the homeless.  We can pose with a sanctified grin in the self-satisfaction that we would have acted differently, that surely “our church” would have bent over backwards for that man.  But the point of these kind of stories is to cast blame on an easy scapegoat and free the reader from culpability.  They allow us to worship a false god as we impute our own iniquities to the guilty and despicable, all the while pointing at others and exclaiming, “Hey, check out the speck in their eye!”

Whenever I see this story shared on Facebook I always politely mention that it’s a fake and, within moments, I become the object of derision for merely making that point.  “What does it matter,” is a frequent refrain along with “Whether or not it’s really true is not the point, the point the story makes is what is truly valuable!”

So, for the sake of argument, let’s “pretend” the story is true and allow me to argue, in either way, just why it is utterly despicable.

Have you ever been to a mega-church?  This church supposedly had 10,000 people and they all “bowed in shame” when the pastor indicted them for their behavior?  I’m hard on the mega-church and their pastors for a number of reasons but neglect or mistreatment of the poor isn’t one of them.  This is the kind of thing for which mega-churches revel.

If this really took place at a mega-church, within five minutes of this fraudulent homeless pastor’s first Sunday, he’d be approached by 3 different Stuart Smalley’s from the welcoming committee, signed up for a small group study, leading an accountability group and on his fourth step of the church sponsored recovery program.  “Community outreach” would have filled his shopping cart with goods from the food bank, lined him up with a donated car and given him a voucher for “Free Oil Change TuesdayNights.”

And what about the numbers?  Have you ever been in a crowd of 10,000?  Are we supposed to believe that the whole church “bowed their heads in tears and shame” because they all ignored one disheveled dude, half an hour before a message?  How many actually saw this guy?  How many would refrain from offering help after seeing the first three people that did so, ignored or rejected by the “homeless” guy?

This past week, a 61 year old Marine Corps veteran saw a woman about to jump to her death at Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum.  ”He saved her life quite honestly, at his own expense,” said Sgt. J.D. Nelson of the Alameda County Sheriff’s Office. “This guy 100 percent saved her life.  She’d be dead now,” if not for this, “good Samaritan who pleaded with her not to jump and broke her 45-foot fall.”

Should we judge 70,000 Raiders fans because they didn’t all notice this soul in trouble?  Are they all to blame and should they hang their heads in shame because they didn’t break her fall?  Granted, we are more likely to hold a church to a higher standard than Raider Nation, but numbers don’t lie.

The “church” with all its flaws, has fed, has clothed, has ministered and has raised more orphans, widows and homeless individuals than any organization in the history of the world.  But why let the facts get in the way of a cheap shot to fuel self-righteous haters?  And all you have to do to confirm this bigotry is to look at the Comments Section below wherever you see it posted.

A fake story about a fake event at a fake church that never happened, makes us feel good because it points out that the fake people at the fake church are actually real selfish hypocrites who need to be fake shamed so that they will follow Christ and we can all “feel” real good about ourselves.  Sorry, but schadenfreude is not a fruit of the spirit.  Christians don’t need to feel better about themselves or their church by participating in a charade that paints imaginary “brothers and sisters” as the morally bankrupt.

Truth matters!  When it ceases to matter, we have descended into idiocy.  The whole point of the homeless pastor story is to point out “hypocrisy.”  If that is something that makes me feel good, I have a problem with pride.

No Pastor (under shepherd) should entrap his flock and set them up for failure and then expect to have their trust moving forward.  Yet, we are supposed to admire a man whose first act as a Shepherd of a new church is to thoroughly expose them to public humiliation?  That doesn’t sound like the description that our Lord gives us of “the good shepherd.”

The popularity of this internet hoax is congruent to that of Jefferson Bethke’s viral video Why I Hate Religion But Love Jesus: both of these attack Christianity from within.

The most popular Republican with the main stream media is always that “Maverick” who shivs his party in the back with a toothy grin.  The video and this story are no different. Whenever you have a “look me over but don’t overlook me” ministry like Bethke’s, you have a narcissist looking for fuel, and the message boils down to “Religion sucks, Christianity sucks, and the Church sucks – but Hey, check out Me and Jesus!”

The bigger problem with the “homeless pastor” lesson is that it calls for discipleship from the place of guilt and shame.  This is false religion.  Motivation for the Christian life and ministry is always from the foundation of love, “I am compelled by the love of Christ,” says the Apostle Paul, “it is your reasonable service” based on the compassions of Jesus Christ.

You can feed the poor and give the body to be burned and without love it means naught.  This, however, is but an experiment in white guilt meant to deliver a propaganda message about the hypocrisy of Christians.  This is the kind of thing that got Barack Obama elected … twice.

The tricky thing about this story is that its nefarious nature is not overt, but very subtle; you come away thinking that it is spiritual because it has spiritual elements.  Some have compared it to the parable of our Lord about the “Good Samaritan,” but it’s actually missing the key component – the Samaritan.  This story never gets past the beat down of the priest and the Levite.  All of a sudden the man lying on the Jericho road stands up and condemns religion but never extolls the true hero of the story, the Samaritan neighbor.  The three who did talk to the pastor are but an asterisk in this story to lend it some credibility.

This story really isn’t Biblical in nature at all but it does have a secular counterpart: Mark Twain’s The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg.  Twain’s piece was a shot at what H.L. Mencken would call the “booboisie,” – Christians.  Twain despised religion and so set up a piece that would prove a whole town’s hypocrisy.

Both pieces, Hadleyburg and Pastor Jeremiah Steepak, are contrived, imaginary screeds structured to bring the house down on hypocritical “Christians.”  The only difference is that “Hadleyburg” doesn’t insult the reader and that Twain had the integrity to write his hit-piece as fiction.  Only someone truly contemptible would pass off a phony story as true and last I checked, fraud is not a fruit of the spirit, either.

If the church is weak in America, it’s not for neglect of the poor in body, but for the abandonment of the poor in spirit.  In a country where the homeless are among the top 15% of the wealthiest in the world, the homeless aren’t necessarily “the least of these.”  The 55 million who have been killed in their mother’s womb in a silent holocaust just may be, but the mega-church won’t touch that nor stand for Biblical marriage because these things are too “controversial.”

The gospel message that Billy Graham once proclaimed, “You’re born, you suffer and you die; fortunately there’s a loophole.  His name is Jesus Christ!” has now morphed into, “How to have your best life now because every day is a Friday and we should buy the shoes and eat the cookie.”  It’s basically a schlocky, half-assed Deepok-Oprah “secret,” with a scripture or two sprinkled in.

Virtually every rescue mission and orphanage was started by Christians.  Hospitals too.  The Bible-Belt dwarfs the rest of the country in charitable giving, there are thousands of stories of recovery and redemption but I guess the real issue is that the church has forgotten the homeless.

Then again, do you really believe anyone would get crucified for feeding the poor and being nice to the less fortunate?

Until That Time, Mi Spes en Deo

Photo Credit: Standard Compliant

GOP – The Washington Generals

John McCain Official SC

So the shutdown is over; the Republicans decided to go into victory formation with first and goal on the Democrats one-yard line, still down by 1. That’s right: forget the quarterback sneak, forget the field goal; Coach McCain wants to run out the clock because somehow, losing will be a moral victory. So Mitch McConnell takes the knee, and the RINO cheerleaders do “the perfect cheer”; but the fans go home deflated.

In the meantime, McConnell gets a new multi-million dollar bonus for losing. Make sense to you? If John McCain and John Boehner were the head coach and offensive coordinator of any football team in the country, at any level, would they still have a job?

Although, Bruce Vain may have been on to something when he blogged this week that “Basketball is a better fit. The Democrats looked like the Harlem Globetrotters and the RINOS like the Washington Generals. Any way you look at it, it was a fixed game!”

One of the Democratic talking points that the mainstream media was all too happy to pass along was that the Republicans were holding the government hostage: either Rush Limbaugh hypnotized the tea party or Ted Cruz slipped us a date rape drug, but someone had raided dad’s gun cabinet and was stopping our dear leaders from their essential and non-essential work. I wish it were true!

I, for one, would love it if our government was “held hostage.” Sure, have at it! Waterboard the little tyrants while you’re at it. Did they really think that they could drum up sympathy for the government with half the country out of work and Congress less popular than Jeffrey Dahmer? I’d even be willing to do a prisoner exchange.

Recently, an NBC/WSJ poll was commissioned that showed 60% of Americans would like to see the whole of Congress voted out. What do you think the percentage would be if we commissioned a poll that asked “Should Congress be detained indefinitely at Guantanamo Bay?” Or, “Should Congress get ‘perp walked’ out in Sheriff Joe’s pink boxers and be forced to pick up litter on the side of I-55?”

The best-case scenario is for these guys to be furloughed until the next election; but no, the Republican leadership decided to bend over and collect a fee. Some things are just that obvious – they’re simply rank whores.

The good news is that there are around 18 senators and 70 congressmen that get it and are still worthy of our support and encouragement. We must never allow cynicism to blunt our vigilance. Rage is the order of the day!

Rage against the machine and against the dying of the light! Rage against a complicit press corps and in the face of a docile “opposition party!” Rage at the school board meeting and in the town hall!

Rage in person and on the phone; rage in email and through snail mail! Let your light shine and your voice be filled with beautiful, passion-filled, outspoken righteous indignation! Summon the AWOL, shame the silent, and cry out at injustice! Weave the three strand whip; turn over the tables of the money-changers! Never tire! Never give up!

The moment that fatigue begins to set in, think of the sacrifice of your fathers; think of the chains that would be your sons. Summon the strength of faith to endure. We are not blind to the path; just follow the blood-stained footprints of those who tread freedom’s trail just yesterday. Our enemies want us to give up, or at least give in. Let not evil triumph because the righteous have abandoned the field.

As Burke has warned, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” So I would have you believe that “the good man, once informed, will never choose apathy!”

The history of the Republican Party has been one of fighting injustice on the behalf of true freedom; we should not suffer RINOS who sell our heritage for ‘a bowl of lentils’ or Democrats who ‘plough with our heifer’ in their plot to deceive.

We had a team prior to this one that was comfortable just showing up and never talked about victory; then a guy nicknamed the Gipper came along and gave us the game plan, “We win and they lose!” It’s time once more that we dared to challenge the status quo and moved beyond “détente.”

I would not have you switch teams or give up the game altogether; but as for the current Republican Party, it’s time we forced new leadership and gave the ball to Ted Cruz.

Bill O’Reilly Is Killing Jesus

Bill OReilly SC Bill OReilly is Killing Jesus

“I’m researching KILLING JESUS, do you know why Jesus was killed, by the Romans? … You don’t know and you shouldn’t know because it was about taxes, taxes!” – Bill O’Reilly, The O’Reilly Factor, March 2013 (see here: Jesus killed over taxes)

Now, I am no expert on Jesus Christ or the Roman occupation of Judea in the first century A.D., but I am a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ and once, on the way to visit my in-laws, I slept in a Holiday Inn Express.  But it wasn’t until that statement, from the renowned theologian Bill O’Reilly of Fox News, that I realized the true reason that Jesus Christ was killed was not atonement, redemption, propitiation, or reconciliation, but “Taxes!  It was taxes!”

I know, right?!  Those Romans are brutal!  I mean, the IRS raided Willie Nelson and jailed Wesley Snipes, but crucifixion?  That’s just medieval!

On Tuesday, the 24th of September, Killing Jesus: A History by Bill O’Reilly (in big bold all caps and the same font size as the words “KILLING JESUS”) and Martin Dugard (you better be wearing your bi-focals to see his name, but he’s the guy who does all the work and gets none of the credit) will arrive in bookstores and on e-shelves.

And according to the prophet of the “No spin zone,” the guy who said “render unto Caesar” and who miraculously summoned a fish with a silver coin to pay not only his own taxes but also those of his servant Peter, was somehow the spearhead of a tax revolt against the Romans.

The history of the Greeks, the Romans, the Christians, and the Jews deny this as does Christ himself, who, in a less than Simon bar Kokhba moment, told Pilate to his face that his kingdom was not of this world else his servants would fight.  But then again, maybe Fox’s own Ron Burgundy and his ghostwriter have discovered something that thousands of scholars, billions of words, and history itself have overlooked?

The write-up of the book promises to “take readers inside Jesus’s life, recounting the seismic political and historical events that made his death inevitable – and changed the world forever.”  Now, I’m all for tax revolts, but has the death of any tax revolutionary really “changed the world forever?”

And I’m pretty confident that the death of Jesus was inevitable because God decreed it and prophecy declared it:

Him, being delivered by the determinate counsel and foreknowledge of God, ye have taken, and by wicked hands have crucified and slain: (Acts 2:23)

The kings of the earth stood up, and the rulers were gathered together against the Lord, and against his Christ. For of a truth against thy holy child Jesus, whom thou hast anointed, both Herod, and Pontius Pilate, with the Gentiles, and the people of Israel, were gathered together, For to do whatsoever thy hand and thy counsel determined before to be done. (Acts 4:26-28)

After all, wasn’t Pontius Pilate reluctant to the last minute?  Do you really think that a Roman Procurator would pause for reflection in the face of a tax revolt?  A man renowned for his cruelty?

As a student with intellectual curiosity and somewhere around 3,000 theological volumes in my library, I appreciate the diversity among the scholars that appear there.  I have the early church fathers, the great minds of the Reformation, Catholics, Calvinists, skeptics, scoffers, and even atheists (though I must admit that O’Reilly will be the first theologian to grace my shelves who has been sued by a former producer for offering to introduce a falafel into her nether regions.) But as a Christian who believes in redemption, I was excited to hear that the troublemaking Roman Catholic kid who was the bane of his Catholic school had grown up to write a book about Jesus.  What an opportunity for a man who has truly been blessed with a magnificent platform and millions of viewers.  How sad that he wasted such a golden opportunity.  How truly tragic.

As nutty as Louis Farrakhan sounds when he claims that a Jew of the house of David and the tribe of Judah was black, and as loopy as those in Queer Nation who claim that Jesus was “a gay man, extraordinarily gay, steeped in gayness” are, nothing quite compares to the complete denial of thousands of years of Jewish prophecy and two millennia of Christian tradition. Not even Dan Brown had the chutzpah to write his anti-Christian screed as a work of non-fiction.  That’s right, “folks,” you don’t see this kind of pride and prejudice outside of the major cults or the halls of Pandemonium.

The fresh, bold piece of humanity has revealed himself as the hot steaming pile of vanity that both Mark Levin and Rush Limbaugh have warned us about by implication for years.  O’Reilly’s wacky, unhinged conjectures promise to make Oliver Stone seem like St. Augustine. Imagine the ego that went into his decision to straighten out God, history, tradition, and even the skeptics about the life and death of Jesus Christ?  Imagine the arrogant naiveté to suggest that a history of the death of Jesus belongs on the same shelf as Lincoln’s and JFK’s?

And the irony of a man who boasts that “The Factor has stood up for Christmas for fifteen years, defending the holiday from secular progressives.”  I guess it’s alright to have Christ in Christmas, but let’s revisit that whole Easter Sunday thing.   So, we have been wrong all along with the “Christ died for your sins” confession; actually, we should revise that to “Jesus died for your deductions!”

But will the Factor-heads bail him out on this one?  You betcha!  O’Reilly could “ralph” into the Holy Grail, and there would be a bidding war on ebay.  He still lives off the fumes of the average person’s middle finger to the media in their disdain of mainstream propaganda and their appreciation of Fox as a reliable news source.  As for me, I would rather have him sign my loofah than toss him 30 pieces of silver like the Fox lemmings who will buy anything that bears his name and visage.  How’s that for pithy?

The question that we must ask, that even fans of The Factor must demand, is why?  Why would he write this book, and why should we continue to pretend that Bill O’Reilly hasn’t morphed into the media version of the perpetual thumb in the eye that is John McCain?  If I’m wrong about his following, and I hope that I am, then the title of his next book will be “KILLING RATINGS!”

I leave you, my dear reader, to your own better discretion on whether to buy this book or support this man; but let me just point out a question that should make “the folks” uncomfortable.  “When is MSNBC more reliable than Fox News?”  The answer is when Martin Bashir has to correct Bill O’Reilly about the true reason for the death of Christ.

Martin Bashir: “’You don’t know and you shouldn’t know because it was about taxes?’  Now, as anyone with a modicum of Biblical history will tell you, the death of Christ was an act of substitutionary atonement for the sins of the world.  He neither lived nor died for taxes; in fact, he simply said that one should discharge one’s responsibilities to the state by rendering unto Caesar that which was Caesar’s.  But the purpose and meaning of his death is spelled out by the prophet Isaiah:

He was pierced for our transgressions.  He was crushed for our iniquities.  The punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.  Isaiah 53:5

He died for the sins of the world, including the lies and the misappropriation of his life by those whose sole purpose is to make money at his expense.”


Watch Martin Bashir’s Commentary here: Bashir on O’Reilly’s Killing Jesus

5 Questions For Glenn Beck

Glenn Beck 5 Questions For Glenn Beck

First, let me say that I think the world of Glenn Beck.  He is on my Mt. Rushmore of Conservative Heroes along with Ronald Reagan, Rush Limbaugh, and William F. Buckley, Jr. as the four men who have done the most to secure the republic in my lifetime.  One of the things that I love about Glenn is that he loves to learn as much, maybe even more, than he loves to teach.  As a matter of fact, while I think he approaches teaching as a duty, I suspect he actually finds it, at times, burdensome.

The Saturday before the reelection of Barack Obama, my wife and I had the chance to speak to Glenn Beck for a few moments and found him to be incredibly kind and very humble.  Since then, many things have changed in the country; and I thought to myself, if I had that chance again, what would I ask?

I do think Glenn is an honest man, and so I don’t think that he’d take the following as a challenge to his character; at least that is my hope.  So here goes:

ONE: If Gandhi or MLK Jr. were Chinese, would we even know their name?  

I’ve heard you say on a number of occasions that we should emulate MLK Jr. and Gandhi in their ideas of peaceful resistance to tyranny. But Glenn, isn’t it true that these two guys led successful movements because of who their opponents were even more than who they themselves were?  In other words, if Gandhi and Dr. King were in Tiananmen or even Tahrir Square leading peaceful protests, isn’t it more likely that we’d know them like we know “tank-guy,” as a nameless/faceless/voiceless victim?

Don’t take my word for it; take a trip for yourself to Gandhi’s house and regard the banner on the front veranda.  The one that sports the quote from Bertrand Russell: “It is doubtful that the efforts of the Mahatma would have succeeded except that he was appealing to the conscience of a Christianized people.”

When the evangelist Ravi Zacharias saw this sign, he was stunned by the irony that “the home of Gandhi, the pantheist, displayed a banner quoting Russell, the atheist, who said the former’s efforts would not have succeeded save for the theists.”

Now tell me, dear Glenn, do you believe that Barack Obama, Valerie Jarrett, and Eric Holder are closer to the worldview of the British Colonialists, the American segregationists, or the Red Chinese and the Muslim Brotherhood?  I’ll hang up now and wait for your answer.

TWO: What would you think of an Austrian or German man who in 1934 fantasized about killing his “leader?”

Would he be a paranoid, homicidal conspiracy nut or a visionary who just saw things quicker and clearer than Dietrich Bonhoeffer?  What if he thought the NAZI Party was not a legitimate party, was an enemy to the motherland, and needed to be fought against with all possible contingencies?  And what would be the difference between that man in 1934 and Dietrich Bonhoeffer in 1941?

Simply put, do you disagree with John Adams when he wrote in A Defence of the Constitutions of Government, “The right of a nation to kill a tyrant, in cases of necessity, can no more be doubted, than to hang a robber, or kill a flea.  But killing one tyrant only makes way for worse, unless the people have sense, spirit and honesty enough to establish and support a constitution guarded at all points against the tyranny of the one, the few, and the many”?

THREE: If Samuel Adams, Patrick Henry, and Thomas Jefferson were here today, what would they be saying, writing, planning, and doing? 

I think it’s doubtful that they’d be going to a “Tea-Party” golf outing.  I think these were more serious men.  These were the sons of Issachar.  Maybe you can ask David Barton — off the record of course.  And while you’re over at David’s, you can ask him about the real Thomas Jefferson, not the one that you’ve carefully crafted as a justification for being AWOL on the moral issues of our day.  Or to put it as a question:

FOUR: How’s your leg mending, and did you get your wallet back?  

When it comes to the Rainbow Crusaders and the scourge of abortion, Glenn is remarkably detached.  Somehow this is a Libertarian value, I suppose, and that’s his prerogative. But it does drive me a bit batty when he implies that our founders in general felt the same way and that Jefferson in particular would be, I don’t know, to the Left of Penn Jillette on the issue.

When it comes to same-sex marriage, Glenn consistently downplays sexual anarchy as a threat and quotes Jefferson as saying if “It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg,” then it is, apparently, not a serious issue.  The problem with that is that Beck cannot possibly believe that.

Glenn is too smart to believe that!  Not to mention his close relationship to David Barton, who could easily “straighten” him out on the issue.  For that matter, Rabbi Lapin’s lesson on Baal should have had Glenn “butt-shifting” over his self-justification of apathy in the face of the greatest religious freedom issue of our day.  You see, Glenn has to completely “butch” history and reality to arrive there.

The quote by Jefferson was about atheists and pantheists, not about sexual perversion.  The full quote is, “The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others.  But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no God.  It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.”

Surely a historian of Glenn’s caliber knows that the guy who wrote a bill calling for the emasculation of homosexuals would probably side with those who believe that the issue is one that may break a few legs and pick a few pockets.  That’s right; Jefferson, like Washington, was convinced that homosexuality was a serious affront with serious consequences that shouldn’t be ignored.

I wonder if Catholic Charities would agree with Glenn, that the gay mafia hasn’t “broken their leg”?  I wonder if the photographers, the bakers, and the bed and breakfast owners who are being sued for not dancing to the tune of the alphabet mafia would think that their pocket has been picked?

A movement that exists by monitoring businesses and individuals for their beliefs and then threatens their livelihood certainly fits the Jefferson quote.  A movement that has forced Michael Savage and Dr. Laura off the air for merely holding an opposite view is certainly a threat to free speech and the free exercise of religion.  Can’t Glenn tell the difference between his gay friends and the “monster in our midst” that is the Gay-K-K?

While atheism and pantheism will never cause the doors of my church to be padlocked, the hate speech legislation sponsored and spurred on by the sin syndicate most certainly will.  By that time, do you think Glenn will take notice?  Maybe if he inclines his ear more to Pat and Stu or Rabbi Lapin and David Barton than he does to the Liberal-tarians.  Time will tell.

FIVE: Are you hiring? 

This may sound self-serving; but my radio show would rock your network, pal!  The Parson and The Cleaner at www.uncommonshow.com!  When do we start, boss?

Photo Credit: The Rocketeer (Creative Commons)


The Problem With The GOP Is …

GOP SC The Problem with the GOP is ...

The establishment of this party is authoring its demise. You talk about Pelosi and Reid and Schumer and all these other Democrats — Bob Menendez, the Democrat senator from New Jersey — all warning us that if we don’t do this on immigration, we’re never gonna win the White House.  As though they are interested in us winning the White House?  I mean, the idea that the Democrats are advising us to do things to help us, which means that they would lose?  I just don’t buy it. I’m sorry.  I don’t think the Democrats ever want us to win the White House ever again.” – Rush Limbaugh, July 1, 2013

And of course, RUSH IS RIGHT!  If you aren’t thoroughly frustrated with the Republican leadership and the fact that freedom lovers don’t have a legitimate opposition party at the most crucial time in American history, then you don’t bleed red, white, and blue. The party that isn’t a “Party” is the sole voice of opposition, but it would be nice if some of our elected representatives started listening to the tea-party and not the “consultants” at the cocktail party.  “Put that Cosmo down!  You call yourself a Republican, you son of a b*tch?”
The voice of freedom in America resounds from pundits like Limbaugh and Levin and from former politicians like Sarah Palin and Colonel Allen West.  Websites like ClashDaily and Townhall act as a modern day Federalist Papers.
The few true Republicans in the senate, like Ted Cruz and “Grand” Paul, are constantly ridiculed by the party establishment; and those patriots who reside in the house are barely noticeable – frozen out by a complicit press corps.  We few, we happy few!  The leadership of the party seems to be mesmerized by the siren call of perpetual losers who themselves are sleeping with the enemy.
A caller to Rush’s show on Wednesday really impressed the Dr. of Democracy with his clear analysis of our sorry predicament.
RUSH: Here’s Brad in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.  It’s great to have you on the EIB Network.  Hi.
CALLER:  Mega dittos, Mr. Limbaugh.  A pleasure to speak to you.  I told your call screener there that I am an attorney. I teach law. I’m a former public official and a Republican, and I advise my clients and my students, “You can’t take legal advice from the people across the table.  They’re going to give advice, obviously, that is in favor of their position.”
RUSH: Exactly.
CALLER:  That sounds so obvious, why even say that, right?  Well, it’s not.  A lot of people don’t seem to get it, and a lot of politicians don’t seem to get that.  Why is it that Republicans are always apologizing because of your … what the Democrats are saying?
Rush went on to explain the mind boggling truth, that Republicans act that way out of fear.  Fear that the “Independents” will abandon them if they act the part of men and actually confront the enemy – 

The Republicans actually now target their campaigns for 20% of the electorate, and who are they, the 20%?  They’re said to be non-ideological, “So don’t approach them with fire and brimstone,” and then the trick was completed when the media and the Democrats spread the notion that the independents don’t like ‘partisanship.’

Vladimir Lenin reportedly quipped to one of his confidants, “We will hang the capitalists with the rope that they sell us!”  The quote may be apocryphal; but it rings true, nevertheless.  Is it too much to ask that our Republican representatives start planning, acting, and speaking more like statesmen our founders would admire and less like “useful idiots” that our foes desire?
So out of frustration, I queried some friends on how one can accurately illustrate the suicidal tendencies of a once Grand Old Party – the results follow.  And if we left anything out, chime in with your wit and wisdom in the comments section below.
Asking liberal Democrats to detail “What’s wrong with the Republican Party?” and “How do we make it right?” is like asking:
Lucy to hold the football!
Wolverine for a massage!
Sweeney Todd for a haircut!
John Gacy for a lift!
Hannibal Lecter for dinner!
Thelma and Louise to drive!
Asking Paul Begala to direct our steps is like asking:
Richard Dawkins to open in prayer!
Ho Chi Minh to sing the National Anthem!
Charlie Sheen to speak at commencement! Duh, Winning!
Kim Kardashian to a Vugo ceremony!
Chris Christie to be your personal trainer!
Jerry Sandusky to lead a Boy Scout troop!
Basing our future on the integrity of Chuck Schumer is like asking:
Bill Clinton for a cigar!
Gollum to hold your ring!
Michael Jackson to hold your baby!
OJ Simpson to keynote a marriage seminar!
Sheila Jackson Lee to head Homeland Security!
Rob Bell to write the forward for Dante’s Inferno!
Expecting results from the “good will” of liberals is like asking:
A Saudi woman for her driver’s license!
Planned Parenthood for a mammogram!
Greg “Gaylord” Focker to ‘say grace’! BOOM!
Pat Robertson for marital advice!
Mayor Bloomberg to pass the salt!
Mr. Pink to tip! (Well, in all fairness, Mr. Pink did chip in a buck.)
Expecting victory to rise from the advice of a sworn enemy is like asking:
Snooki to do your algebra!
Cruella Deville to dog-sit!
Hillary to secure an Embassy!
Huma, how she keeps her man interested!
The Great Santini to go ‘one on one’!
Bernie Madoff to invest your life savings!
The scorpion if he wants a piggyback ride!
And finally, asking liberal Democrats to detail “What’s wrong with the Republican Party” and “How we make it right” is like asking … John McCain!
Photo credit: DonkeyHotey (Creative Commons)