An Open Letter To ‘Gay’ Teens

gay pride flag 3 SC An Open Letter to ‘Gay’ Teens

Who am I? I’m a husband and a father. More importantly, and by the grace of God, I’m a follower of Jesus Christ.

This is what motivates me to write you.

You don’t have to read on, but I pray you will.

What I write, I write with the purest of aims and with your well-being in mind – physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being, both now and for eternity.

You will read truth here, not because I say it’s true – I’m nobody – but, rather, because the Creator of the universe, the very God Who wove you together in your mother’s womb, made it true.

His truths never change.

I have three kids, a boy and two girls. My son will soon enter his teenage years. I’ve had many people ask me what I’d say to my children if one of them came to me and declared: “Dad, I’m gay.”

Here’s what I’d say. I’d tell them exactly what I’m about to tell you:

I love you. I neither judge you nor condemn you. I accept you, and I would die for you.

But you are not “gay.”

Yes, you may be physically attracted to people of the same sex, but how you act on those attractions is entirely your choice. Who you are – your identity – is not defined by your sexual feelings, temptations, or behaviors. The difference between who you are and what you feel or do is like the difference between night and day.

Here is who you are: You are a wonderful, beautiful, precious human being created in the image and likeness of the one righteous and Holy God of the universe.

You are priceless.

But you are flawed – you are a sinner.

I am flawed – I am a sinner.

We are all flawed sinners – corrupted beings in a corrupted world. We are all tempted by sin.

Those temptations manifest themselves in different ways for each of us. We are all on equal footing, however, as to how we react to those temptations.

Homosexual behavior is always wrong – demonstrably and absolutely wrong.


Every major world religion, thousands of years of history, and uncompromising human biology declare this objective reality from the rooftops.

Though your heart may deceive you, something deep within you knows this to be true. Scripture says that “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. …” (Jeremiah 17:9)

Some say: “But Jesus never mentioned homosexuality.” First, we don’t know this. We have no record in Scripture of Him specifically addressing homosexual sin, but neither do we have a record of Him addressing incest, bestiality, or other sexual sins.

Jesus was clear. He condemned all sexual immorality as detailed within the moral law. He was clear that any sexual activity outside the bonds of marriage between husband and wife is sexual immorality – sin.

In fact, homosexual sin is expressly identified in both the Old and New Testaments as being among the list of sins that, if committed without repentance, will prevent you from “inheriting the kingdom of God.”

That is to say, yes; unrepentant homosexual behavior is disobedience to God. If we rebel against God and refuse to repent and ask His forgiveness, then we have chosen our own fate – we have chosen to disqualify ourselves from heaven.

We have chosen hell.

I know, it’s not easy. Temptation is not easy.

To sin, however, is easy.

Still, to endure the consequences of that sin, both here and throughout eternity, will be more difficult than our limited minds can fathom.

Romans 6:23 admonishes: “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Sin can lead to physical death; but it also leads to emotional and spiritual death.

If you are caught up in homosexual sin, you know – intuitively, you know – that such conduct is wrong, that it is both immoral and unnatural behavior.

Truth is truth, even though we may deny it.

God has written His law on your heart. You are a physical being; but, more importantly, you are a spiritual being. When we sin, we create separation between ourselves and God.

God’s word also says that when we sin sexually, it’s particularly egregious because our bodies are the temple of Christ. This separation from God – a natural result of sexual sin – can lead to depression and even despair.

If you feel such despair, know this: it is not “homophobia” causing it, as adult enablers might tell you. But, rather, it is the sin itself that causes it (or struggling alone, absent Christ, with the temptation to sin).

You are being used. Adult homosexual activists with a political agenda are using you as a pawn to achieve selfish goals in a dangerous political game.

You’re just a means to an end.

They may have convinced themselves otherwise, but they don’t care about you. They don’t love you. They can’t. Their version of “love” is built on lies. It’s devoid of truth.

Love without truth is hate.

If you continue down this wide, empty path, make no mistake: it will not “get better.”

It gets much, much worse.

Consider, for instance, that according to the CDC, this path will lead you, boys, to a one-in-five chance of contracting HIV/AIDS. The CDC also found that 64 percent of all syphilis cases strike “gay” males and that homosexual behavior leads to an astronomical risk of nearly all other forms of STD.

Even more startling is the fact that, according to the International Journal of Epidemiology (IJE), “[L]ife expectancy at age 20 years for gay and bisexual men is 8 to 20 years less than for all men.”

Unnatural behaviors beget natural consequences. “The wages of sin is death.”

But there is hope.

Jesus loves you with a love that no human can fully grasp. This is true not because of your so-called “sexual orientation”; but, rather, it is true in spite of it.

Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

Kids, take your sexual confusion – your struggle with sin – to Christ.

No one else can give you rest.


Matt Barber (@jmattbarber on Twitter) is an attorney concentrating in constitutional law. He serves as Vice President of Liberty Counsel Action.

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  1. Meg
    Thanks Matt Barber, for stating the facts. I hope that those who are having this problem will take your message to heart. If the desire to change is there, it can be done.

  2. Eibenschotte says:

    What about those born with physical attributes of both male and female? THERE is some bigtime confusion.

  3. Sex is about kids, not your pointless enjoyment.

    • Eibenschotte says:

      You don't understand. I seriously want to know how one born with such an affliction makes a decision as to preference. Then maybe I can determine if "born gay" has validity. What exactly do you mean by "pointless enjoyment", anyway?

  4. Beautifully stated. Won't win any popularity contests, but nonetheless true.

  5. This article gives the truth from the Bible, there are two doors into eternity. Which door will you choose for yourself ? You do know the truth ? GOD cannot lie. GOD'S word will be fullfilled whether you believe or not, or accept it or not.

  6. Eibenschotte…You mention being "born gay". There is no medical data that supports such a statement. Each person is born with a certain amount of both male and female hormones (Did you ever see a woman with a beard or mustache?). Rarely there are those who are born with a large amount of both and this causes them to have sexual characteristics of both men and women. If caught in time, this can be treated. Although, as the article states, all sex outside of marriage is sin, many are tempted to "experiment" with sex and that includes homosexual sex. Usually they are embarassed by this "experimentation" and never return to it. Sometimes however, there is no embarassment because we have so many"gay" friends that it is thought of as normal and Satan tells us that because of what happened, we ' must be gay." Just remember that Satan is a liar and the father of lies according to God's Word. In no more than you wrote, I feel a deep concern in your heart. That concern comes from God who sent His Son Jesus to die for your sins. If you will turn to Him with your heart and trust Him, you will know the answers and can be born-again.

    • Eibenschotte says:

      I already HAVE turned to Him; I just want to examine all the facts. I knew kids from my childhood who were effeminate, and I found it hard to believe that Satan could have instilled "proclivities" on an innocent kid. That's where my deep concern comes from.

      • We need to remember that God gave us a free will to choose paths for ourselves. There are parents that feel they must be a buffer from all of lifes hard choices, punishments, and even labors for their children. Although this may have been done in love, they often fail to see the harm that it inflicts upon a child. The Bible teaches us to 'Train up a child in the way it should go..' and we know we must, but I have personally seen a family where the mother was very dominate and the sons became effiminate and I have seen where the father was overbearing and the girls became "manly" ( for lack of a better word ) as I'm sure that you have.

        • I had a Pastor whose son was made to always wear a necktie, never allowed to play sports, etc., and heaven help if he ever got dirty. Most of the time he spent with his mother and rarely did he play with the other kids. He was in college when he announced that he was gay. I feel that that is the way they 'trained' him, but it really shocked them. Surely, we contend with the Devil and we deal with God, but there is another power that we must contend with…the flesh. I hope this has been some help. If you want to talk more, just "reply".

  7. Very well written The facts are as stated.

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